maybe it's ghosts in the walls

 maybe it's ghosts in the walls

not a chittering onyx squirrel

or plump persimmons thunking on the roof of the tin shed next door

maybe it's wolves plinking through the leaves

maybe it's the ghost of high school you 

looking for a criminal princess

maybe it's humming birds sleeping. their wings have finally stopped.

maybe it's donut boys on bikes after midnight 

whooping through the darkness

maybe it's you slithering down the cliffs on your butt

maybe it's me tapping out poems about you 

on a pretentious old-timey typewriter

maybe it's nightmares slithering through the walls

bad grandfathers and demons.

Maybe it's fat rat raccoons spelunking for clicks and likes

maybe it's just my imagination

or a dream or a wanting 

maybe it's half the world's on fire

and the other half is dead and cold as ice

maybe it's you haunting me 

or the stillness of the cold 

making the pipes and the wood and the glass of my house

expand and contract

maybe it's all of these things and none of them

bump bump bumping in the night

if I get one song out of meeting you it's almost as good as getting two 

Saturday Morning of Memorial Day Weekend

I felt you this morning
In my prayers
You were the whole blue sky
and all light.

You were laughter
You were love
You were forgiveness
You were whole
You were time

You were gratitude
You were full
You were the universe contained
You were free.

I felt you this morning
In my prayers
You were everything

Is it so hard to surrender
to stop fighting
Is it so hard
to wash his little paws

Is it so hard
to buy him a toy he likes
even if he already has that same toy
Is it so hard to buy all the unicorns
one in every color

Is it so hard to buy him healthy food
that he wants to eat
and vitamins
and treats

Is it so hard to call his friends
for a play date
Is it so hard to call the doctor
when he has a bump or a sticker or a scratch

Is it so hard to keep his curls neat
to keep him dry from the rain
to buy him clothes that fit
or have a birthday party for him

Is it so hard to be a mother

Is it so hard to shield him from bullies
or those that would harm him
or shut.any.threat.down.

Is it so hard to keep a man around
who would protect him
is it so hard to take him for a run or teach him yoga and prayers
Is it so hard to tell him he could be anything and he's beautiful and strong and smart
Is it so hard not to break his heart
Is it so hard not break his spirit
Is it so hard not to break your child

Is it so hard to be a parent
Is it so hard not to scream swear words
Is it so hard not to hit
Is it so hard not to throw things
Is to so hard not to bang your head on the wall until there's a dent in the wall
Is it so hard not to shriek "I should have had an abortion of you!"
"Everyone born your year was an accident and an unwanted child!"
"My mother didn't want me either!"
"Just wait til you have kids!"
"Stop being so hysterical!"
"Your grandmother wasn't interested in you!"
"I'm not going to kill myself to make it easier for anyone else"
Is it so hard not to give your child away
because he wouldn't sit still and read a book
when he was five. 

I thought it would be too hard
to love someone more than I love myself
It's not that hard.